Fade Out
You’ve come and you’ve gone
Left destruction in your wake.
Never the one
To let go for my sake.
Just when I’d thought
This depth had no end
I woke up this morning
And breathed life again
And living takes practice
Fear is a choice
You’ve taken my childhood
But I’m finding my voice
Every day is stronger
Every moment brings faith
And as I become visible
You fade away.
This feeling
It’s me wanting to know you
But feeling afraid
It’s me staring after
As you walk away
It’s the way you make me smile
When you know that I’m down
It’s you pulling me up
When I’m starting to drown
And if I thought for a moment
You felt like I do
I’d tell you tomorrow
And leave the rest up to you
It’s me looking at you
And feeling that spark
It’s you brightening my days
When my nights are so dark
It’s me catching your stare
And my turning bright red
It’s you making me feel
When I thought I was dead
And if finding myself
Meant first losing my way
I’d find myself lost
On your doorstep today
It’s me finally feeling
And knowing myself
It’s me loving you
As you love someone else
And if I thought for a moment
You felt like I do
I’d tell you today
And leave the rest up to you
Life Goes On
Never thought I would Know
A life without you
But easy come, easy go
And life goes on without you
Now you're back, wanting more
You talk of hope, finding change
But you've already changed my life
You've already stolen my hope
And my only choice has been
To steal my soul back from you
No one said that life was fair
But we all deserve that shot
Well, I'm taking mine now
The one I've never had.
And if you think you're coming back
Please turn around and walk away
I've been down that road a hundred times
I'm taking another path today.
And everything is different now
I'm not that girl, I'm not the same
I'm taking back my life now
And it's going on.. without you..
Fool
Things have changed.
It’s the only thing I’m sure of anyway.
I’m not who I was,
But don’t we all die a little every day?
You told you’d get better,
That the bad times have to end.
But every time that I get stronger,
Here you come again.
I don’t believe your promises,
Your talks of life and change.
Every time I’ve ever bought,
You’ve turned and walked away.
You ask that I have faith in you,
Just this one last time.
But what is they say about breaking the cycle,
When you fool me twice times ninety-nine?
You told me you’d find healing,
That this sickness has to end.
But every time I help you up,
You drag me down again.
And I don’t believe your promises,
Your talks of life and change.
Every time I’ve ever bought,
You’ve turned and walked away.
~ Lacy Lynnette
I’m Okay
Growing older without you
Sometimes losing my way
But don’t you worry about me, mama
I’m okay… I’m okay
Kicking and screaming
Forgetting how to pray
My soul slowly dying
But I’m okay… I’m okay
Internalizing anger
A pillar by day,
A broken child by night
I’m okay… I’m okay
Days filled with hopelessness
Nights spent afraid
Nightmares of violence
I’m okay… I’m okay
Thoughts of escape
My hands hold the blade
Thinking “If I could just…”
But I’m okay… I’m okay
Choosing to live
No more running from pain
Accepting my anger
I’m okay… I’m okay
Slowly finding my footing
Getting stronger every day
A passion discovered
And I’m okay… I’m okay
Older, without you
But I’m finding my way
And don’t you worry about me, mama
I’m okay… I’m okay
Cover Up
Screaming, shouting, losing my voice
Shattered or scatter? This is my choice?
Struggling to keep up with the lies
Meanwhile, my soul slowly dies
I want to stand with you
But I can no longer carry you
The burden now too much to bear
If only you happened to care
Understanding and concern for a day
Followed by twenty more of my soul wasting away
Are you blind or can you see me?
Motherless daughter screaming
You say you love me but how?
When you don’t even realize I’m dead now
So many trials, so much pain
And what could I have possibly gained?
Struggling to stand and move on
Don’t want to hear where I’m wrong
Bitterness is grown over years
And it takes just as many to let go of our fears.
Covering for pain mostly emotional
Losing myself, unintentional
To become numb is to fade away
So why are you asking this of me?
Anger born of broken trust
Child wandering, a woman now lost
Belonging To You
Plastic, jaded, lost, and alone
So much you couldn’t know
Who I am and what I’ve lost
Surrendered at the highest cost
Part of me or all of me
How can a dead child breath?
I thought my love would somehow mend
You before you’d reached the end
Now I see that all I did
Was manage to lose faith in Him
With every breath I breathed in you
My own body exhaled two
Judged, angry, bitter, sad
Fatherless daughter, aching for dad
Everyone sees what they want to see
So what do you think when you look at me?
You say you don’t like what I’ve become
But isn’t this the price of loving someone?
The strength it took to keep you alive
Exhausted my soul and took my life
Broken home, broken heart
A family divided, driven apart
Faith lost, Faith regained
Accepting dreams never obtained
Starting over on my own
Finding a place to call home
Forgive and forget is what they say
But scars take time to fade away
Healing, struggling, still lost and alone
So much you still don’t know
You say you don’t like what I’ve become
But isn’t this the price of loving someone?
The Price of Loving You
Ever a Dreamer, Ever a hope
Everything changes for better, for worse
Life never asked me, the path I would choose
And God never promises us to gain without loss
You taught me everything
How to talk, how to walk
Everything I believed in
I believed in from you
So much darkness, so much pain
How could I have known then?
That the pain I would bear would come from you
That you’d push me aside and walk away.
Never to look back, never to care
How could you even say that you loved me?
And yet with every drink, every nightmare
Show me otherwise?
Nights were my terror
Days were my refuge
That tiny room was my hiding place
My writing, my salvation.
You told me, I save you
You told me that I was needed by you
How could you be so selfish?
To not see that I was dying with every breath that I gave to you?
You taught me how it feels to be so helpless
You taught me anger, bitterness, and pain
I learned from you that God can’t hear us
That anyone we love can turn away.
You told me that you couldn’t help me
Despite the fact that I died for you
You told me that I didn’t love you
Because I could no longer hide the pain
I’m growing older and much wiser
I understand the pain that pulled you in
I understand that you just couldn’t love me
Not while you couldn’t even love yourself
You taught me to never fall so deep
To never lose myself through life and love
You taught me to help myself stand stronger
That God can whisper in the wind.
Ever a Dreamer, Ever a hope
Everything changes for better, for worse
Life never asked me, the path I would choose
And God never promises us to gain without loss
You’ve come and you’ve gone
Left destruction in your wake.
Never the one
To let go for my sake.
Just when I’d thought
This depth had no end
I woke up this morning
And breathed life again
And living takes practice
Fear is a choice
You’ve taken my childhood
But I’m finding my voice
Every day is stronger
Every moment brings faith
And as I become visible
You fade away.
This feeling
It’s me wanting to know you
But feeling afraid
It’s me staring after
As you walk away
It’s the way you make me smile
When you know that I’m down
It’s you pulling me up
When I’m starting to drown
And if I thought for a moment
You felt like I do
I’d tell you tomorrow
And leave the rest up to you
It’s me looking at you
And feeling that spark
It’s you brightening my days
When my nights are so dark
It’s me catching your stare
And my turning bright red
It’s you making me feel
When I thought I was dead
And if finding myself
Meant first losing my way
I’d find myself lost
On your doorstep today
It’s me finally feeling
And knowing myself
It’s me loving you
As you love someone else
And if I thought for a moment
You felt like I do
I’d tell you today
And leave the rest up to you
Life Goes On
Never thought I would Know
A life without you
But easy come, easy go
And life goes on without you
Now you're back, wanting more
You talk of hope, finding change
But you've already changed my life
You've already stolen my hope
And my only choice has been
To steal my soul back from you
No one said that life was fair
But we all deserve that shot
Well, I'm taking mine now
The one I've never had.
And if you think you're coming back
Please turn around and walk away
I've been down that road a hundred times
I'm taking another path today.
And everything is different now
I'm not that girl, I'm not the same
I'm taking back my life now
And it's going on.. without you..
Fool
Things have changed.
It’s the only thing I’m sure of anyway.
I’m not who I was,
But don’t we all die a little every day?
You told you’d get better,
That the bad times have to end.
But every time that I get stronger,
Here you come again.
I don’t believe your promises,
Your talks of life and change.
Every time I’ve ever bought,
You’ve turned and walked away.
You ask that I have faith in you,
Just this one last time.
But what is they say about breaking the cycle,
When you fool me twice times ninety-nine?
You told me you’d find healing,
That this sickness has to end.
But every time I help you up,
You drag me down again.
And I don’t believe your promises,
Your talks of life and change.
Every time I’ve ever bought,
You’ve turned and walked away.
~ Lacy Lynnette
I’m Okay
Growing older without you
Sometimes losing my way
But don’t you worry about me, mama
I’m okay… I’m okay
Kicking and screaming
Forgetting how to pray
My soul slowly dying
But I’m okay… I’m okay
Internalizing anger
A pillar by day,
A broken child by night
I’m okay… I’m okay
Days filled with hopelessness
Nights spent afraid
Nightmares of violence
I’m okay… I’m okay
Thoughts of escape
My hands hold the blade
Thinking “If I could just…”
But I’m okay… I’m okay
Choosing to live
No more running from pain
Accepting my anger
I’m okay… I’m okay
Slowly finding my footing
Getting stronger every day
A passion discovered
And I’m okay… I’m okay
Older, without you
But I’m finding my way
And don’t you worry about me, mama
I’m okay… I’m okay
Cover Up
Screaming, shouting, losing my voice
Shattered or scatter? This is my choice?
Struggling to keep up with the lies
Meanwhile, my soul slowly dies
I want to stand with you
But I can no longer carry you
The burden now too much to bear
If only you happened to care
Understanding and concern for a day
Followed by twenty more of my soul wasting away
Are you blind or can you see me?
Motherless daughter screaming
You say you love me but how?
When you don’t even realize I’m dead now
So many trials, so much pain
And what could I have possibly gained?
Struggling to stand and move on
Don’t want to hear where I’m wrong
Bitterness is grown over years
And it takes just as many to let go of our fears.
Covering for pain mostly emotional
Losing myself, unintentional
To become numb is to fade away
So why are you asking this of me?
Anger born of broken trust
Child wandering, a woman now lost
Belonging To You
Plastic, jaded, lost, and alone
So much you couldn’t know
Who I am and what I’ve lost
Surrendered at the highest cost
Part of me or all of me
How can a dead child breath?
I thought my love would somehow mend
You before you’d reached the end
Now I see that all I did
Was manage to lose faith in Him
With every breath I breathed in you
My own body exhaled two
Judged, angry, bitter, sad
Fatherless daughter, aching for dad
Everyone sees what they want to see
So what do you think when you look at me?
You say you don’t like what I’ve become
But isn’t this the price of loving someone?
The strength it took to keep you alive
Exhausted my soul and took my life
Broken home, broken heart
A family divided, driven apart
Faith lost, Faith regained
Accepting dreams never obtained
Starting over on my own
Finding a place to call home
Forgive and forget is what they say
But scars take time to fade away
Healing, struggling, still lost and alone
So much you still don’t know
You say you don’t like what I’ve become
But isn’t this the price of loving someone?
The Price of Loving You
Ever a Dreamer, Ever a hope
Everything changes for better, for worse
Life never asked me, the path I would choose
And God never promises us to gain without loss
You taught me everything
How to talk, how to walk
Everything I believed in
I believed in from you
So much darkness, so much pain
How could I have known then?
That the pain I would bear would come from you
That you’d push me aside and walk away.
Never to look back, never to care
How could you even say that you loved me?
And yet with every drink, every nightmare
Show me otherwise?
Nights were my terror
Days were my refuge
That tiny room was my hiding place
My writing, my salvation.
You told me, I save you
You told me that I was needed by you
How could you be so selfish?
To not see that I was dying with every breath that I gave to you?
You taught me how it feels to be so helpless
You taught me anger, bitterness, and pain
I learned from you that God can’t hear us
That anyone we love can turn away.
You told me that you couldn’t help me
Despite the fact that I died for you
You told me that I didn’t love you
Because I could no longer hide the pain
I’m growing older and much wiser
I understand the pain that pulled you in
I understand that you just couldn’t love me
Not while you couldn’t even love yourself
You taught me to never fall so deep
To never lose myself through life and love
You taught me to help myself stand stronger
That God can whisper in the wind.
Ever a Dreamer, Ever a hope
Everything changes for better, for worse
Life never asked me, the path I would choose
And God never promises us to gain without loss
Lacy Lynnette's Poetry: